Tired of Overthinking Every Interaction? Here’s How to Overcome Social Anxiety
If you find yourself overthinking every word you say, replaying conversations long after they’ve ended, or avoiding certain social situations altogether—you’re not alone. Social anxiety can make even small social interactions feel like high-stakes performances. It’s not about being “too sensitive” or just shyness—it’s a real, treatable mental health condition that many women silently struggle with.
You’re not broken. You’re just overwhelmed—and there’s a way to overcome social anxiety that doesn’t involve forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations or pretending to be someone you’re not.
In this article, we’ll gently explore:
What causes social anxiety and keeps it going
Common symptoms of social anxiety disorder
Practical tips and strategies to help you manage your social anxiety
Effective treatments for social anxiety, including therapy options
Let’s take a deep breath—and learn how to overcome social anxiety.
What Is Social Anxiety—and Why It Feels So Personal
Let’s start with this: social anxiety is not just shyness. While many people feel a little nervous before a party or presentation, social anxiety disorder goes deeper. It’s a type of anxiety disorder marked by intense fear of social situations—especially those where you feel like you’re being judged, watched, or expected to perform.
Social phobia, the clinical term often used for social anxiety disorder, can affect everything from your ability to meet new people to how you show up at work or even speak up in a small group. And for many people with social anxiety, it doesn’t go away on its own—it often gets worse without support.
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. An estimated 7.1% of U.S. adults live with social anxiety disorder, and it’s especially common among women navigating big life transitions like career changes, aging, or relationships shifting in midlife.
What Causes Social Anxiety
Social anxiety may develop from a mix of experiences, genetics, and environmental factors. Here are a few common contributors:
Genetics & family history – You may be more likely to struggle with social anxiety if it runs in your family.
Early life experiences – Childhood bullying, criticism, or neglect can leave lasting imprints and reinforce unhealthy beliefs like “I’m not good enough.”
Perfectionism and high self-expectations – Feeling like you must always “get it right” in every social activity can trigger performance anxiety.
Life transitions – Midlife changes, like divorce, career shifts, or caring for aging parents, often stir up feelings of anxiety and self-doubt.
Negative thought loops – Persistent self-criticism and worst-case-scenario thinking can fuel the fear and avoidance of social interactions.
Additional Reading: You might also want to read about Perfectionism, Overthinking, and the Hidden Pressure to Always Get It Right.
If you often feel anxious in everyday social situations or find yourself wanting to avoid social situations altogether, it’s not a failure on your part—it’s a sign that something deeper is asking for attention. And the good news? There are proven ways to manage your anxiety and help you feel more grounded and confident again.
Signs and Symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder
Social anxiety isn’t just “nerves.” It’s a persistent sense of dread or fear of social situations—and for many women, especially in midlife, it can feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells. Maybe you rehearse what to say before a call… and then replay the whole thing for hours after. Or maybe you avoid certain social events altogether because it just feels easier.
Social anxiety disorder in adults can show up in emotional, physical, and behavioral ways. And recognizing these signs and symptoms of social anxiety is the first step toward healing.
Emotional Symptoms:
Intense self-consciousness before, during, or after social interactions
Fear of being judged, embarrassed, or rejected
Constant worry about specific social situations or future plans
Physical Symptoms:
Rapid heartbeat, blushing, or sweating in social settings
Nausea or dizziness before an event
Muscle tension or shaking when speaking up
Behavioral Symptoms:
Avoiding phone calls, meetings, or group outings
Struggling to make eye contact or initiate conversation
Replaying or criticizing your every word after a conversation
Additional Reading: Learn The Emotional Cost of “Having It All”.
It’s important to know that social anxiety often gets worse over time without support. But there’s real, lasting help for social anxiety—and working with a mental health professional can make all the difference. With time, self-compassion, and the right coping tools, you can manage anxiety symptoms and help reduce social anxiety so you can feel more present, connected, and confident again.
Social Anxiety Tips That Actually Work in Real Life
When you're dealing with social anxiety, even small interactions can feel overwhelming. But there are gentle, realistic ways to manage social anxiety—and you don’t have to change who you are to feel more comfortable in your life.
Here are a few simple tips to help you approach social situations with less pressure and more self-compassion:
Name what you feel. Say to yourself, “I’m feeling anxious right now—and that’s okay.” This creates distance between you and the emotion.
Start small. Choose one low-stakes social situation—like chatting with a barista or making a short phone call—and build from there.
Focus on connection, not perfection. People connect through warmth, not flawless delivery.
Breathe intentionally. Deep, slow breaths can calm the body’s stress response and reduce symptoms of anxiety.
Focus on being fully present with the other person. Focusing on yourself—how you sound or look—keeps social anxiety on a loop; shift your attention to the other person instead.
Be kind to yourself afterward. No overanalyzing. Just a gentle “That was hard, and I did it.”
Building Confidence Through Social Skills Practice
Confidence grows in repetition. Practicing social skills in smaller, low-pressure environments (like a class, support group, or even commenting in an online forum) can gently expand your comfort zone.
This isn’t about becoming “perfect” at socializing. It’s about showing up, even imperfectly, and proving to yourself that you can work your way through feelings of social anxiety. Progress may be slow—and that’s not just okay, it’s healthy.
Healing takes time, and so does confidence. But every small step is a big act of courage.
Overcoming Social Anxiety When It Shows Up at the Worst Times
Social anxiety often sneaks in at the worst moments—right before a meeting, a first date, or walking into a room full of people. That wave of fear or anxiety doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means your nervous system is doing what it thinks it must to protect you.
The good news? You can learn to manage social anxiety in those moments with tools that bring you back into your body and calm your mind.
Here are a few gentle techniques that work in real-life situations:
Grounding through your senses. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to anchor yourself in the present.
Breathe with intention. Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4. Deep breathing helps reduce stress and anxiety on a physical level.
Try visualization. Picture yourself handling the social situation calmly and clearly—it helps rewire how your brain responds.
Journal after the fact. Instead of spiraling in self-criticism, write what went well and what you’re proud of.
Have a mantra. Something simple like “It’s okay to be seen” can ease tension when you’re anxious in certain social situations.
What Keeps Social Anxiety Stuck (And How to Shift It)
For people with social anxiety disorder, avoidance can feel like relief—but it’s only temporary. Avoiding the things that trigger your fear and anxiety actually keeps social anxiety locked in place.
The key isn’t to dive into your biggest fear all at once but to work your way toward small exposures with support. Here’s how:
Notice avoidance behaviors (canceling plans, ghosting invitations).
Start small—one step into discomfort, not the whole staircase.
Pair it with support. A mental health professional can guide you with tools that actually work.
Healing takes time—and your courage matters more than perfection. If you're feeling uncomfortable in social situations, there is real help for social anxiety, and with the right tools, you can start to feel more like yourself again.
How to Overcome Social Anxiety: Getting Professional Help
If you’ve been silently battling social anxiety for years, just thinking about asking for help might bring up fear, vulnerability, or even shame. But let’s be clear: getting help for social anxiety is a brave act of self-care—not a sign of weakness.
Social anxiety is a common mental health condition, and reaching out is often the first step toward relief, healing, and rediscovering your voice. There are several therapies for social anxiety options that can be tailored to what feels safest and most aligned for you:
EMDR Therapy: Especially useful if your anxiety is rooted in early relational wounds or trauma, EMDR helps process painful memories and social anxiety triggers in a gentle, targeted way.
Brainspotting: A somatic-based therapy that allows the body and brain to work together to release stored emotional pain, Brainspotting is ideal for women who feel anxiety lives in their body.
Group Therapy: A healing space to make social connections with others who “get it” while gently practicing real-world interaction.
Additional Reading: You might also want to read about The Shame Around Stress and Therapy: How Therapy Goes Beyond Coping Skills.
People with social anxiety often assume they must push through alone—but you don’t have to. With the right support, you can begin to understand social anxiety in a new light and take steady steps toward freedom.
Treatments for Social Anxiety That Support Long-Term Healing
Quick fixes might mask the symptoms, but true healing means exploring the roots—your story, your beliefs, and the moments that shaped your fear of social situations. The best treatments go beyond coping to help you build a life that feels grounded and authentic.
Here are approaches that support deeper, lasting change:
Individual therapy to help you explore the emotional roots of anxiety
Body-based therapies like Brainspotting to process stored emotional responses
Somatic practices to soothe anxiety in social situations
Long-term strategies that prioritize nervous system regulation and self-trust
Remember: anxiety takes time to heal, and you don’t have to rush. When you’re ready, there is help to overcome social anxiety—and you deserve to feel safe, confident, and connected again.
Ready to Feel More Like Yourself Again? Here’s How I Can Help
If you're feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure where to begin, I want you to know—you're not alone. I work with women just like you—women who’ve spent years appearing strong while quietly navigating the pain of social anxiety or the weight of anxiety and depression beneath the surface.
Together, we’ll explore the deeper layers of what you’re feeling. Using tools like EMDR and Brainspotting, I help my clients gently untangle the past so they can feel more present, grounded, and confident in their lives.
There’s no one-size-fits-all option for social anxiety disorder—and healing doesn’t happen overnight. But it does happen, and it starts with a conversation. If you’re ready, I’d be honored to walk alongside you on this journey.