Individual Therapy
After Your Affair Has Been Discovered
For women in midlife facing the emotional aftermath of having an affair
When an affair is discovered, life does not continue as it was.
Your world is in upheaval.
Family life has suddenly become fragile.
Your partner may be threatening separation or divorce.
And alongside the external fallout, you may be seeing that your choices — however understandable they once felt — led to consequences you can’t undo.
Many women describe this moment as being slammed back into reality — forced to face the full impact of their actions, the damage to their status and reputation, and the physical and emotional toll of having lived in two worlds.
Trying to show up.
Trying to be fully present.
Trying to hold everything together.
And if you’re here, it may be because you no longer recognize yourself.
Personally.
Morally.
Psychologically.
Most women who reach out to me are capable, responsible, and insightful. They have spent their lives making thoughtful choices, keeping commitments, and showing up for the people who depend on them.
Having an affair is often profoundly out of character.
And that disconnect — between who you believed yourself to be and what has happened — is part of what makes the affair and its discovery so devastating.
You may not only be dealing with the fallout in your marriage or family, but with a deeper, more unsettling question:
How did I become someone who could do this?
Your thoughts may circle relentlessly:
• “How could I be this person?”
• “I keep replaying what happened, trying to understand how I let this occur.”
• “This doesn’t fit with who I believed myself to be.”
• “Everyone knows — and I’ll never be seen the same way again.”
What you’re living through can feel unrelenting.
External consequences and internal self-judgment are unfolding at the same time, each intensifying the other.
You may feel under constant pressure to account for yourself — to explain what happened, to defend your choices, or to repair trust that now feels precarious.
Not being seen or trusted as you once were can feel both unfamiliar and deeply painful.
What often hurts most is not only the damage to relationships or reputation, but the sense that the way you once understood yourself is no longer certain.
The internal reference point you relied on feels compromised, and you don’t yet know how to orient yourself again.
This moment isn’t only about what might happen next.
It isn’t about damage control, or getting through the fallout.
It’s also about how you live with yourself when going back to who you were is no longer possible.
Our sessions offer a place to slow this experience down — not to reduce its significance or explain it away, but to understand it fully.
To look carefully at how you arrived here, including what shaped your choices long before the affair began, so this moment does not become something you carry forward in silence or shame.
Together, we can make it possible for you to hold accountability and self-compassion at the same time — even when parts of you are grieving aspects of the experience that felt meaningful or affirming, and the sense of aliveness you found there, despite the harm it caused.
From that place, you can begin to think clearly again.
Not just about your relationship, but about yourself.
Over time, we help you rebuild an internal sense of stability — a way of understanding yourself that you can rely on — even after that self-understanding has been disrupted.
Decisions about your marriage, your family, and your future can then be made from reflection rather than urgency, and from perspective rather than fear.
Whether your relationship continues or ends, this work is about you.
Making sense of your history, your needs, and your inner life in a way that allows you to move forward without being defined by this moment.
Although the circumstances may feel urgent, this work is not short-term crisis intervention or problem-solving therapy.
To be transparent, my approach does not offer quick answers or one-size-fits-all solutions.
What it offers is help in reclaiming your internal footing, so whatever comes next is lived with greater self-compassion, emotional steadiness, and a clearer understanding of who you are now.
My Approach
I’m a trauma-trained psychotherapist and work from a depth-oriented, body-based framework, including Brainspotting, EMDR, and parts-based therapy.
These approaches help access and work with emotional material that often sits beneath logic — especially when experiences feel overwhelming, are felt more in the body than in words, or are difficult to articulate.
We work at a pace that respects both the intensity of what’s happening now and the deeper exploration that creates meaningful change.
A Word About Privacy
Discretion is essential in this work.
This is a confidential, one-on-one therapeutic space for women navigating a highly personal and life-altering moment. Your privacy is treated with care, in accordance with professional and legal standards.
Next Step: A Private Consultation
If having your affair discovered has left you struggling to live with what’s occurred — and to understand who you are now — a private consultation offers a place to slow things down and speak openly, without judgment or pressure.
I offer a 30-minute complimentary phone consultation for high-achieving women in midlife considering in-depth, individual therapy after the discovery of their affair.
This conversation is an opportunity to ask questions, understand how I work, and decide whether this approach feels like the right fit for you.
If this feels like the right place to begin,