Generalized Anxiety: The Anxiety You May Not Realize You Have
You get things done. You show up. You manage the day-to-day and keep everything running, maybe not perfectly, but well enough.
But under the surface, your mind rarely lets up.
You’re not just thinking ahead, you’re bracing for what might go wrong. You replay conversations to make sure you didn’t say the wrong thing. You mentally prepare for how you’ll handle something that hasn’t even happened. You worry, about what you said, what you didn’t say, what you should have done, what might happen next.
It’s not panic. It’s not crisis. It’s a constant hum of thinking, anticipating, and second-guessing. Of feeling like something might fall through the cracks if you stop paying attention.
This is what generalized anxiety can look like.
It doesn’t always announce itself as anxiety. It feels like you being thorough. Thoughtful. Prepared.
But that steady undercurrent of unease? That worry that never fully quiets?
That’s still anxiety, just woven into the fibers of your everyday life.
The Kind of Anxiety That Becomes Part of You
Maybe you don’t think of yourself as anxious. Maybe you’ve just always been “on.” Organized. Attentive. The one who stays ahead of things.
But if you’re honest, you might notice:
You have trouble doing nothing without also doing something
There’s a persistent worry that “something bad will happen”
You’re always tracking something, an interaction, a tone, a task that hasn’t been done yet
You feel off inside when plans shift or when something goes unfinished
You get lost in details not because they’re important, but because they’re manageable
You might feel restless for no clear reason. Or irritable when nothing’s really wrong. You might lie down to relax, only to find yourself scrolling or your mind jumping from stressor to stressor.
None of this feels like “anxiety” in the way most people describe it. But that constant mental engagement? That physical tension? That need to keep going?
That’s anxiety. It just doesn’t always show up in obvious ways.
Additional Reading: If you know someone else who’s struggling with Anxiety, you may be interested in: How to Help Someone With Anxiety - Without Overstepping
Where It Comes From
Many women in midlife live with this kind of anxiety for years before realizing what it is—because it’s always been there. Maybe not loud, but persistent. Maybe not overwhelming, but ever-present.
This way of moving through the world often gets imprinted early.
Maybe you grew up in a home where things were unpredictable, where moods shifted quickly, or where you had to be extra responsible. Maybe no one ever said you had to earn your place, but you felt it. Maybe asking for help wasn’t safe, or your needs were ignored, or you learned early that calm moments didn’t last.
Whether it was one defining event or years of exposure to emotional turmoil, your system adapted. You stayed alert—because staying alert helped you get through it.
Even now, your body remembers.
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Why Rest Feels So Hard
It’s easy to say “just rest,” or “you need a break.” But when your nervous system is used to staying in motion, rest doesn’t always register as safe.
Maybe you’ve tried all the right things, breathing, journaling, taking walks, but the unease doesn’t go away. Or it does, briefly, and then creeps back in.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means the parts of you that are still on alert haven’t had the chance to believe they are safe to release for more than a moment.
This is where deeper support can help. Trauma-informed therapy gives you a place to understand what you’ve been carrying, and why your mind and body have worked so hard to protect you.
It’s not about fixing something. It’s about creating space to feel safe enough to exhale.
This Doesn’t Have to Be Your Forever
If anxiety has been your normal for a long time, peace might feel like a unfamiliar or unsafe. But peace doesn’t mean perfection or a stress-free life. It means your body no longer feels like it has to be on alert all the time.
It means:
You view yourself and emotional needs with compassion and curiosity, not criticism
You sit down to rest and notice your muscles release and soften, without needing to earn it
You stop bracing for what might go wrong and start feeling present with what’s right in front of you
It happens as your process and in your own time. It doesn’t require changing everything, just starting to relate to yourself empathetically.
If This Sounds Like You…
If you’ve lived with a steady hum of unease, even if you never called it anxiety—know this: you’re not alone. And you don’t have to keep managing it by yourself.
Therapy can help you understand where it comes from, how it’s been showing up in your life, and what it would feel like to live without always being on edge.
You deserve support that honors what you’ve carried—and gives you room to feel something different.
If that’s what you’re ready for, I’m here.