The affair has ended, and this time it's over for good. Maybe you decided to end it, or the outcome wasn't by choice. But the guilt is still ever present.

The affair is over. It had to be. And you know that.

But knowing it is over and moving on are two different things. Because even now — weeks or months later — he is still there. In moments where thoughts drift. In the space between falling asleep and sleeping. In the middle of ordinary days when it seems everything around you reminds you of him.

Traditional talk therapy can calm thoughts, yet traumatic memories are stored in the midbrain’s subcortical areas. Brainspotting therapy (BSP), an eye-position technique discovered by psychotherapist David Grand, PhD, in 2003, targets that hidden distress at its somatic source.

You know you need to relax. You’ve been told a thousand times: Just take a deep breath. Try yoga. Meditate. But when you finally have a quiet moment…your mind won’t stop. Your body feels restless. Even when nothing is wrong, it’s like your nervous system didn’t get the memo.